“You Care too Much” – An Insult from the Envious, Insecure & Passionless

People have tried to insult me by telling my I care too much, as if being passionate is a bad thing. I have been told statements and asked questions like these: “you are only good because you care”, “why do you even care?” and even, “get a life”. Since when did working hard, being ardent, and actually giving a sh*t become qualities to look down upon?

Caring is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it is human. Wanting something and going for it is beautiful. Growing up is hard and so is life in general. Plus the whole modern dating culture and how it is cool to not care is ridiculous! There were plenty of times where I concealed how much I cared and for what? Well, simply, caring makes you vulnerable. It opens the door to rejection and ridicule. I am here to remind you (as I am sure you have been told this before and if not, here you go) that being passionate is a sign of strength – following your dreams, obsessing over all your nerdy interests, and more importantly, letting people in and allowing yourself to feel for them is powerful. Life is way too short to not let yourself love.

Haters – the envious, insecure, and passionless (also, the lazy) ­– will bring you down for anything, really, but especially when it comes to your ability to care and strive for more. I have always been an impassioned person and I have, consequently, been picked a part for it. I only just realized it from memories that have resurfaced during the last couple days. What caused the resurfacing of these memories was the fact that my sister is dealing with something similar at school. She has recently been criticized for putting effort into and actually caring about a campaign at school. At the end of the day, there will be those who are jealous of your courage – confidence has a way of irking the self-conscious!

I must point out that when I am referring to caring, I am not referring to unhealthy obsessions. There are, of course, people and things that do not merit our attention and love – like that nasty ex or friends who do not have your best interest in mind or anything that causes harm to you or others. Yes, it is great to want something and care deeply but there is also a time to let go and move on. You wont always get the job or land every audition or win every match. God knows I have had my fair share of disappointments but I have also had plenty of shining moments. You have to remember that you win some and you lose some – and no matter what, keep on moving (on to the next goal!).

I want to share a personal example to show when caring and wanting something went TOO far. So, during my senior year in high school there were superlatives that everyone in senior year would vote on. I have always taken a lot of pride in the way that I look (hello, dress for success), so naturally I was one of the candidates for best-dressed. I did not really campaign, as I felt my handwork and dedication in picking out my outfits EVERY night before bed (no joke) was apparent through the different and well thought out outfits I wore. There was this one girl who rigged the votes and said that she was tied with me for best-dressed. After the news of this was found out, the best-dressed picture had to be retaken (no longer me, her, and the best-dressed guy) with the best-dressed guy and me. Her antics did not stop there, she was so determined to be named best-dressed that she printed out stickers with only her and the best dressed guy and placed it over my picture in the yearbook. At that point, all I could do was feel bad for her. She obviously thought she deserved it, no matter how petty she came off.

The point of this post is simply to let you know that there are those who will try to tear you down for caring. Do not let them. And if you are the type of person to use, “you care too much” as an insult, please take a moment to reflect. I think we can all acknowledge that we lose out on certain things because we either do not want it enough or there is someone else who is more passionate about it. When in this situation, find something else you care about and move on.

I have always said that I would rather be the type of person that works hard for everything than the smartest person in the world. Being smart is nothing without drive and passion. Ironically, most of the people that I remember saying I was only good because I cared were and probably still are incredibly intelligent with no love for anything but criticism.

Now that I am 23-years-old, I have learned to do what I please and like what I like without worrying about what others think (yes, I still have weak, vulnerable moments of self doubt – we all do). At the end of the day, what others think about you is none of your business. That being said, you should still strive to be the best version of yourself everyday.

Let your nerd flag fly high and never lose the love in your heart!

What do we say to the haters? NOT TODAY.

XO,

Caylin

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